Where can I go for help?
The hardest part of getting support for your child can be knowing where to start, who to talk to and what to do next. The first question is often – "is there a problem?", the next is – "what is the problem?" and the biggest question is - "what can I do about it?"
Is there a problem?
If you are worried about your child it is important to trust your instinct but also to seek other opinions too. Talk to your family and friends and share your concerns and see what they say.
Ask them to be honest with you. It may well be that those close to you also share your concerns but didn’t want to upset you or didn’t know how to start. Equally they may be able to reassure you, or suggest ways to help you and your child. You will be surprised to discover how many people have had similar concerns about their own child and the wealth of knowledge people have.
Talk to your child’s teacher and share your concerns too – they may share them, or it may be reassuring to discover that your child isn’t having any challenges at school. It may however be very frustrating to know that the challenges at home are not seen out of the home – many parents feel that they must be doing something wrong if their child is seemingly doing very well in all settings except at home.
We do however know that children with borderline neurodevelopmental conditions can ‘hold it together’ in school and then struggle once they get into the safe home environment. It is worth remembering that neurodevelopmental disorders are pervasive – that means that they are present in more than one setting. Thus if there really are no issues in more than one setting then it is very unlikely that your child has a neurodevelopmental disorder. Professionals can sometimes see children who do have difficulties in all settings but have worked out ways to cope which can hide the difficulties – we call this masking – so it is worth asking a few probing questions to gather more information if needed or following your instinct and asking the professionals to review your child as needed.
Very few people come to clinic who haven’t consulted Dr Google! There is so much information on the internet that it is possible to get some great answers and support – it is also equally possible to get totally lost or frightened by what you read and find. We have therefore put together a list of Websites that you might find helpful
What to do about it?
Neurodevelopmental disorders are life-long conditions and for most there is no medication or ‘therapy’ program that can cure the conditions. There are organisations that can be accessed to help you to understand how your child sees the world and functions within it and can give you strategies and support to make things less tricky for your child and those around them.
Have a look at the websites suggested as learning more about what you can do to support your child is a very practical way to help and get the ball rolling.
At Home
When you read the websites you may find parts of it that really resonate with you and seem to describe your child perfectly. These are the bits you need to find. It doesn’t matter if your child has a diagnosis or the same diagnosis that the strategy is assigned to – it will most likely help your child and it won’t do any harm.
If you have identified needs at home then finding strategies to support those needs is the best way to help your child.
At Doctor Kate we consider that any strategy that works for your child should be used irrespective of diagnosis.
Strategies that you may have seen or are using will be:
- Visual support strategies such as now/next, visual timetables and visual schedules
- Behavioural support strategies such as reflecting on why your child has had a ‘meltdown’, positive support strategies and pre-warning of change and routines. Keeping a diary of the behavioural episodes identifying what the event was, what happened before it and what the outcome was can help you spot trends and triggers.
- Understanding the thoughts and feelings of others such as emotions work, social stories or comic strip stories in emotional literacy work can be a great source of help.
Education
It may be that your child’s teacher has expressed concerns to you about your child’s learning, communication and/or behaviour or you as the parent may have started those conversations with your child’s class teacher. These are really hard things to hear – take your time to listen and reflect on what they are saying – it is a natural instinct to fly to your child’s defense. Teachers however are professionals trained to help your child and they too will find it hard telling you difficult things. Teachers won’t be saying this to you without having put a lot of thought into your child and next steps. So take your time to mull over what you have heard – and if necessary have another meeting to clarify what the concerns are and what the plan is.
One of the first steps in helping your child is identifying the needs of the child in each of the settings your child accesses. It may be that your child shows less difficulty in one setting than another and therefore the support will need to be tailored to the needs that they are presenting with in each of those settings.
In your child’s education setting, the class teacher may suggest specific activities or support for your child in school or how you can support them at home. Working together is key – as children need consistency across all settings and if something is working in one setting – share that knowledge and use that strategy consistently.
When the needs of the child become more prevalent across the school day or the needs become more complex, your child’s teacher may suggest accessing support from the Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator (SENCo).
The SENCo is a teacher who has additional experience and/or qualifications for children with additional needs. They will be able to consider what additional support the school can put into place and whether they need to access any outside agencies to request more specialist assessment, advice and support.
It may be that the class teacher or SENCo suggests writing a ‘one-page profile’ which explains the child’s strengths, needs and what strategies can be used to support them.
It may be that the SENCo suggests writing a ‘My Support Plan’ which is a document detailing the child’s strengths and needs in a non-statutory document which can be used flexibly to support the needs of the child, family and all who work with them.
It may be that your child already has a ‘My Support Plan’ and the SENCo has suggested applying for ‘Statutory Assessment’. This is a detailed investigation to find out what your child's special educational needs are, and what provision is needed to meet those needs when the support from the ‘My Support Plan’ is not enough. If your child is successful in the ‘Statutory Assessment’ process they will be given an Education Health and Care Plan (EHCP).
Schools already have lots of strategies and resources that they can access. Some of these will be used as a whole class strategy such as visual timetable, and others are more specific support such as ELSA (Emotional Literacy Support Assistant) interventions. Schools can also access support from specialist services such as the local Special Educational Needs support Service which can offer advice and support for cognition and learning, communication and interaction or behavioural support.
There are a number of organisations both locally and nationally that can offer help and support to you as you navigate helping your child at home and through their education.